Why British is Better

by Christopher Reardon

I gotta tell ya, I just love British people. The accent, the sense of humor, and the lack of George Bush as president are all very appealing to me. Gosh I wish I could move to London, but given as I'm a poor New England boy I have to get my fix elsewhere; namely, British movies. Watching movies from across the pond is really special for me because I love deciphering the exact meaning of the dialect and because I find that ten British movies lined up in a row will be better than ten American movies lined up in a row almost any day. In fact, let's do just that. Here's a list of ten fabulous British movies and their ten American counterparts that don't quite stand up to the competition. If you have a favorite British movie, let us know in the comments!

Hot Fuzz vs. Bad Boys
Writers Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright offer a movie that was marketed as a comedy, but is a legitimate action movie through and through and manages to improve upon its own inspiration. Now bring the noise!

Shaun of the Dead vs. Dawn of the Dead
Pegg and Wright return and manage to again best the very movie they parody by providing a useful combination of horror and comedy, and not failing at either. Better than a dart to the head any day.

Beautiful Thing vs. Brokeback Mountain
Never mind all the great Mama Cass music, for one thing Beautiful Thing came out ten years before the “ground breaking” Brokeback. For another, it offers a sweet and sincere story with some of the angst but none of the heartache of Brokeback.

Trainspotting vs. Requiem for a Dream
Requiem is a classic, but no movie moved and scared me away from drug use more than Trainspotting ever will, yet it still manages to not be as preachy as Requiem. I see that baby crawling across the ceiling in my nightmares even now.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail vs. Spaceballs
I’ll choose Monty Python over Mel Brooks any day, if only because I love me a British accent. Both movies are rife with camp, but Holy Grail manages to achieve legendary status with its one-liners, vicious bunnies and lack of John Candy (God bless him).

The Full Monty vs. Showgirls
No contest here. The Full Monty is a thoughtful and genuinely funny movie, while Showgirls is an excuse to see the chick from Saved by the Bell naked. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose (insert masturbatory punchline here).

A Clockwork Orange vs. Fight Club
Both are great movies with a bit of the ol’ ultra violence, but the very puzzle of A Clockwork Orange will keep me coming back years after I’ve tired of Fight Club (if that ever happens).

Human Traffic vs. Dazed and Confused
Now we’ve reached the hour of Spliff Politics. Human Traffic manages to be more realistic and funnier than Dazed and Confused, despite the latter’s legendary status. If you haven’t seen this gem I suggest you do so as soon as possible.

28 Days Later vs. Resident Evil
I know, two (actually four!) zombie movies in one list, but I’m really a sucker for the sub-genre . And hey, fast zombies are way scarier than slow-ass zombies any day. In fact, I’ve never been more scared of a humanoid creature than when I saw 28 Days Later, and the ever-present danger of infection was fulfilled more frighteningly than any other movie I’ve seen in my life.

Millions vs. Blank Check
Had to get at least one kids movie in here. Blank Check was the sh*t when I was a kid, but is intolerable now. Millions still manages to be watchable (and far more financially realistic) as an adult and actually offers a compelling and sweet story.