MLB Preview '08: AL East

by Christopher Reardon

If there are any holdovers from my old blog The Baseball Beat still reading NORMAL, then you know that every year I run a series of entries previewing the upcoming baseball season and all my picks thereof. Because The Baseball Beat and most of my other blogs have sort of been absorbed by NORMAL, I figured I would run my MLB Preview for the 2008 season over here at the old blogazine, and what better way to start things off than by taking picks in NORMAL's home division, the American League East. Just bear in mind while reading my previews that injuries, trades, and various other baseball miscellany can make huge waves in the leagues, and things can change with the drop of the hat. That said, let's get on with the show.

1. Boston Red Sox, 97-65
At the risk of sounding biased, I really do think my Sox will win the division again this season. In my defense, I haven't always chosen Boston to be number one, although I did last year and I was (ahem) right. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to post-season play in the AL East, you're talking about two teams: the Sox and the Yankees. And the Sox, returning most of their players from the World Series winning 2008 campaign, are the best set up to make a repeat. In the rotation, Josh Beckett will again be a Cy Young contender, John Lester and Clay Buchholz will prove that they are both more than ready for a full year in the bigs, and Curt Schilling... well... Curt Schilling remains the biggest DB in all of sports. I believe we'll see an improvement in the lineup as David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez bounce back from "down" years and the young studs continue to show that they are the future of Boston's title contentions. Most of all, though, I think some of the players in their second years with Boston will show huge improvements. History (and Beckett) has shown us that it can take an entire season to adjust to the added pressure in Boston, which bodes well for J.D. Drew (who really came on at the end of last season and in the post-season), Julio Lugo (who will be out to prove the Red Sox front office right in coveting him all these years), and especially Daisuke Matsuzaka (who won't be hounded quite so thoroughly by the Japanese media in his second year in the states). Remember, Boston won the division and the World Series while a handful of their stars were not playing to their full potential. If they can get 100% out of their full squad this season, chances are the Red Sox will run away with the division in '08.

2. New York Yankees, 94-68
As I said, it's basically a two-horse race in the AL East, and the Yankees aren't quite ready for pasture yet. They still have the most potent offense in the sport (with the possible exception of Detroit) and they have a few young guns on the pitching staff who are primed to do big things in the majors. Chien-ming Wang will always be a stud in the Bronx, and Andy Pettitte and Mike Mussina are veteran arms who will probably eat a lot of innings, but the real meat of New York's rotation comes in the form of a handful of young men who will have a lot of pressure put on them as the Yankees seek to return to the World Series for the first time since their loss to the Marlins in 2003. Phillip Hughes showed he can compete at the major league level last year by going 5-3 with a 4.46 ERA in his thirteen starts, while Joba Chamberlain blew everyone away with his bullpen stint, throwing in nineteen games while allowing just earned run while striking out 34 hitters. Chamberlain may start the season back in the bullpen, but he may also compete for the fifth starter's job along with Ian Kennedy, who impressed last season by allowing just four earned runs and striking out fifteen hitters in his three starts. Still, there are simply too many questions and too little experience in the Yankees rotation for it to really compete with Boston's, yet New York's offense will always be one of the most revered in the league. The only questions there are who will get the bulk of the time at DH, right field, and first base as Hideki Matsui, Johnny Damon, Wilson Betemit, and Jason Giambi platoon those positions. Powered by their offense, the Yanks may again have the stuff to win the wildcard, but they'll see some tough competition from the Indians and the Mariners.

3. Toronto Blue Jays, 88-74
Playing in the AL East just isn't fair. The Blue Jays have come close, taking second place from the Red Sox in Boston's injury-addled 2006 campaign, but that's about as far as they'll go. They do feature perhaps the most underrated pitching rotation in the bigs with names like Roy Halliday, A.J. Burnett and Dustin McGowan. And their offense isn't too shabby either with sluggers like Vernon Wells, Frank Thomas, Alex Rios, and Scott Rolen in the mix. In fact, if all cylinders fire early and often for Toronto, they may indeed have what it takes to reclaim the number two spot in the AL East. But that's a gigantic "if." These guys are simply not winners. Toronto's roster is built for some success in the regular season, but when your team is in the same division as the Red Sox and the Yankees, it must be difficult to really prepare a team for the post-season every year, knowing that it will take a miracle for it to happen. Who knows, 2008 may be that miracle season, but I wouldn't bet on it.

4. Tampa Bay Rays, 77-85
Every year I pick the Rays to finally make it out of the AL East basement, and every year the team manages to disappoint me, often tallying the worst record in the major leagues along the way. They simply do not have the mind-set needed to win. That said, this team features too much talent from top to bottom not to make some things happen this season. Pitcher Scott Kazmir has perhaps the most talent of any left hander in the American League (especially now that Johan Santana is in the NL), James Shields won twelve games last year, and the addition of Matt Garza will only help the rotation. On offense guys like Carlos Pena, Carl Crawford, Akinori Iwamura, and B.J. Upton should make some pretty big waves in a tough division. I look for the Rays to surprise just about every year, and they do just about everything but, but I really think 2008 is the year they finally move up in the AL East standings.

5. Baltimore Orioles, 72-90
Apparently the brass in Baltimore has finally come to accept the fact that they are not going to win anytime soon, so during the off-season they unloaded some of their big names and picked up a few quality players in return. Gone are Miguel Tejada and Eric Bedard, and it looks like Brian Roberts may be next. The Tejada and Roberts moves make total sense to me as the team rebuilds as these are two big names (with big contracts - especially Miggy's exorbitant thirteen million each of the next two seasons) who are soon to be mired in controversy over their involvement in performance enhancing drugs. The Bedard trade I'm a bit more skeptical about, as he is the kind of pitcher you build a team around, but chances were the Orioles would lose contractual control over him before they for a winning squad, and so it would all be for naught unless they signed yet another huge contract that will only hurt them in the end. So the Orioles go into the 2008 season anchored by names like Daniel Cabrera and Aubrey Huff, with absolutely no chance of winning. I give them the benefit of the doubt (and three more wins than last year) because a team made of a lot of young talent (like all the prospects they Os pulled from Seattle and Houston) tends to mesh well together and surprise a lot of people.

Waxing Potential

by Christopher Reardon

So a couple weeks ago I walk into Salon Lola, my normal style haunt which is owned and operated by Sasha Putney, a good friend of NORMAL and the stylist for many of its contributors. Sasha's the only person I let do my hair, and she does a fantastic job every time.

On this particular occasion, while working near the front of my head, Sasha looks at me and frowns (never a good sign when you're getting your hair cut). Nervous, I ask her what's up and she tells me I should let her wax my eyebrows.

I don't know whether to be relieved or even more anxious. I mean, my hair's fine (I knew I had nothing to worry about there anyway), but apparently below my hairline I'm a furry caveman and she wants to rip it all off with hot wax and strips of cloth. Is there really anything wrong with having unkempt brows? I mean, waxing is for girls, right?

I've never been one to fret too long about personal gender issues, so I let her do it. And it gets me thinking about other men who get waxed, and the ones who should but won't. I figure Sasha, who's been ripping people's eyebrows off for ten of her twenty-seven years, would be an excellent authority on the subject. And as it turns out, I'm right. "About twenty or twenty-five percent of my clients are men," she tells me (with some bookkeeping help from her assistant Cody), "and almost all of those get waxed."

So apparently I'm not alone. But isn't getting waxed for the girlies? "Waxing is not a feminine activity. It's not necessarily metro, you just want to look presentable." She brings up a good point. Ever since the advent of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," the idea of guys looking good has been brought to the mainstream. You don't have to be a rich snot to be fashionable and well groomed. I myself am neither rich nor a snot (well, I'm certainly not rich at least), but if Sasha tells me I should get my eyebrows waxed then dammit that's what I'm gonna do.

But I definitely don't want to end up looking like Joey Lawrence with the pencil thin lines atop my brow. As I learn, there's something of an art to waxing eyebrows correctly. "You want a natural look. A good waxer knows how to do this." I'm convinced at this point that Sasha's a good waxer, but what about all those guys who are afraid of looking too sculpted? "At the very least they should do the middle to get rid of the uni," she says. I can't agree more. I can't even bring myself to look into the eyes of someone with a uni-brow, never mind take him (or her) seriously.

And the pain? The anticipation is the most painful part, like when you're getting a shot. And after she's done tearing my face up, she rubs this stuff on there that makes it all better. "It's after wax cooling gel. It has cucumber and aloe in it, and it's essential. This will cool your eyebrows down and get rid of redness." I'm really glad there's such a thing. Not only do I not have to spend the rest of the day in burning pain, but I also don't have to leave the place looking like some kind of perfectly groomed raccoon.

So I actually feel good about the waxing. Sasha soothes my masculine insecurities and the gel soothes my freshly waxed (and rather stunning, might I add) eyebrows. But still, won't people think it's weird that I get waxed? "People who do it don't think it's weird," Sasha says. And there it is. I get my eyebrows waxed, and I don't think it's weird. In fact, I text a friend of mine (a fellow waxer) about my adventure and she actually texts me back "Yay!" Apparently I really needed to get my eyebrows waxed.

Check out Salon Lola on Myspace and then go check it out for real. You won't be sorry.

It's not About "Weight-Loss" it's About "Healthy Living"

by Christopher Reardon

In the past three-four weeks I've undergone a bit of a transformation. In that period of time, I have not smoked a cigarette, I've been waking up early (just look at the timestamps on my posts for proof of that), I've exercising everyday, and I've been eating healthier. I started doing all these things at the same time, and I must admit I've never felt this healthy in my life. I've been skinnier in my life to be sure, but I've never felt this healthy. Now it's only been a few weeks and I am still losing weight, but my point is that even if I didn't lose another pound, I'd still feel good about these changes.

Notice I said that I've been eating healthier, not that I've been dieting. We hear it from a lot of sources, but people just seem to refuse to believe that diets do not work. Depriving yourself may help you lose a few pounds quickly, but it will only negatively impact your energy levels and your attitudes.

I read an article today on Dumb Little Man by Craig Harper called "Overcoming Weight Loss BS." The piece exemplifies the changes in my life, as they are not simply means of losing weight, they are a new way of life aimed at staying healthy.

"Many people don't want to hear this message because it's too fundamental and obvious. And it requires real effort, sacrifice, work and self-control. “Whatever you do Craig, don’t mention the ‘D’ word (discipline) and please don’t talk to me about self-control again.” No, we'd rather talk about weight-loss theory number ten million or the latest 'breakthrough' pill, powder, potion, product, gizmo or gadget. Or that amazing new weight-loss book. 'Cause we need another one of those. We want quick, easy, convenient and painless. We are soft. We are precious, lazy and lack self-control. We are the quick-fix society. And the instant-gratification generation. And the fat generation."

The article is a well-written piece with some good advice about maintaining the right attitude
while increasing your personal health. If you have something you'd like to add regarding your own health routine, let us know in the comments!

Bring Back Prohibition

by Scott Spillane

Before reading this please bare in mind that my thoughts are directed to people that ABUSE alcohol.

These people are obnoxious, mean, violent, and generally a danger to anyone around them, I know because I use to be one of them.

I grew up around alcohol so it seemed perfectly normal to take up the habit.

I also was a bouncer for a few years so I got to see the abuse from both sides.

I was a member of S.A.D.D. in high school yet I drove drunk for years. Thankfully I never hurt anyone.

After getting married and having a daughter I decided that enough was enough.

Being sober and observing inebriated people has really opened my eyes. What good comes from drinking? How many people have to get hurt, or killed before something is done about it?

We even make buildings called bars for people to go to specifically get drunk. Some of these people start meaningless fights and many of these people then jump into a car which places anyone on the road in grave danger.

I ask again, how many people have to die?

I’m sick and tired of reading how innocent people are MURDERED by these drunks.

Then the justice system calls it involuntary manslaughter. Killing someone while driving drunk or fighting is no accident.

These people get lighter sentences. I ask why? Does the person or people this person killed get to come back to life after this sentence is served?

Prohibition should be brought back; drugs are illegal which kill less people a year than alcohol.

I’m about freedom and all, but not when thousands of innocent people have to die each year because of alcohol.

New Poll: Does Clemens Belong in the Hall of Fame?

by Christopher Reardon

In the wake of congressional hearings and the damning (absentee) testimony of Andy Pettitte - who when deposed about his own use of Human Growth Hormone testified that Roger Clemens spoke with him on several occasions about using performing enhancing drugs himself - it's getting harder and harder to believe that the Rocket was indeed clean throughout his entire career. Still, Clemens has refused to admit his use, maintaining that his former trainer Brian McNamee (who told the Mitchell Report that he injected Clemens with HGH and steroids) is a liar and that Pettitte "misremembers" any conversations they supposedly had regarding PEDs.

Meanwhile it appears that the Rocket's pitching career is over, as he's all but begun duty under the service contract he signed with the Houston Astros which comes into effect when Roger's finished playing. This means that in five years, the Rocket will be up for a Hall of Fame vote. History shows that shamed players (*cough* Mark McGuire *cough*) will not receive the necessary votes for a plaque in the Hall, and many writers who have votes have already claimed that they will not vote for Clemens when his time comes.

So here's the question: if you had a vote for the Hall of Fame, would you send Clemens in?

You can find the poll and give your answer in the side-bar to the right, and the poll closes in about a month. Let us know what you think!

Super Powers that Be

by Michael Weisburg

Over the past few weeks I have been talking to my friends, co-workers, relatives and most importantly my girlfriend. I have asked them all the same questions… If you could have any one super power what would that be?

Of course being a guy, I have seen all the superhero movies that have come out over the past couple of years, and of course my favorite is still Spiderman. I honestly don’t think they could make them any better, but when the next installment comes out, it always blows me away.

Yet if you could sling web from your wrist, would you use it for good or for your own personal gain?

I have heard some of the weirdest, dumbest and most interesting things people would love to have for superpowers if you could have only one. I hear them all, whether they are the most obvious ones such as X-ray vision, or superhuman strength. But then I think of what I would want for mine. Here is what I have come up with. I would want the ability that when I closed my eyes, I could see how everybody dies.

I know that you are thinking that I will probably never sleep again with a power like that, but to your disbelief I would so love to have that. I would be the one people would love to see so that they could ask that simple question that I know a lot of people wonder: "When and how am I going to die?" I would be able to warn so many people and save so many more lives then any superhero could ever do. I could tell people that they shouldn’t go on vacation because something is going to happen, and I could tell people not to on the subway.

There I am using my super power for the good of mankind. Saving people from dying is exactly what the real superheroes do right? So if I had that ability then I would be the Ultimate Superhero. In fact, I would call my Dr. Ultimate. Not that I am a doctor of any sort (though I try telling my girlfriend that I AM a gynecologist).

So as I end this, please take a minute to think what your super power would be. Think long and hard, and come up with a good reason why. Because after all, you only get one super power.

Congrats Matt and Amanda!!!

We at NORMAL want to extend our sincerest congratulations to contributor Matthew Jupin and his wife Amanda, who gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last night. Connor Matthew Jupin came into the world at 6 lbs. 7 oz. and I could swear I've never seen a just-born baby more aware of his surroundings. He will surely be a great addition to the Jupin family and, of course, the NORMAL community. ;-)

The Worst Month in Sports

by Christopher Reardon

I can't believe it. I mean I cannot effing believe it. The Patriots, formerly 18-0, are now 18-1. And that lonely, sad little one is the biggest one there could have been. The Superbowl. And you wanna know the most messed up thing of all? I pulled Pats 4 - Giants 7 on my Superbowl squares, so Pats losing and their final score of 14-17 actually made me money. For the last thirty seconds of the game I was actually rooting against myself winning money so that the Pats could pull off a miraculous win, but it just didn't happen.

So my first thought in consolation after the Superbowl was "hey, I'm a few bucks richer now." And my second? "At least pitchers and catchers report to spring training in eleven days."

I must admit, even though the Celtics are drastically improved this year and the Bruins seem to be getting better, my sports are really just football and baseball (and MMA, but that's a year-round event). That's why I always dread the end of the Superbowl, for good or for bad, because the month of February is woefully void of interesting sporting events. I mean the Pro Bowl is a joke, and the first game of the baseball exhibition season isn't until the end of the month. What's a guy to do?

I'm not the only one out there who see this lack of sports intake. You'll notice the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue come out during this month, assuredly because if there's no interesting games to cover you might as well throw girls in bikinis throughout your magazine. ESPN will spend a week reviewing the Superbowl and a day reviewing the Pro Bowl, then fill in the remainder of the time with a lot of golf and tennis. Me? I'll be catching up on some reading and preparing my annual MLB preview.

So I am really upset and disappointed that the Patriots were unable to put their name squarely in the history books as perhaps the best team of all time, I might be more distraught by the fact that I have almost nothing to watch for the next month. Gosh I can't wait for baseball season to start.

Image provided by Boston.com